I think that the virtue that I need to work on the most is courage. Courage has always meant a lot to me, and has always been a large part of my life. I have faced a lot of hard situations during my short life and so having courage has been almost like second nature to me. Over the past year I seem to have lost the courage that I had as a young child. I lost courage in the fact that things would turn out okay. I lost the courage to stay strong through the hard things I encountered. Even though I am often able to appear strong and courageous on the outside, I seem to have lost all that on the inside.
One of the reasons that finding courage is so important to me is because I am beginning to face a lot of things that I do not believe I will be able to get through based on basic human strength alone. See a really good friend of my dad’s (who is practically like a big brother to me) Ashley is leaving in February for Afghanistan. He’s in the United States Marine Corps Reserve, so we’ve all known for a long time that this was always a possibility. He was recalled twice before, but never made it any farther than Camp Pendleton, California. It has been hard on everyone in both my family, the family of people at the company that both he and my dad work for, and his family. He has two young daughters and I can’t even begin to imagine how this will affect them. We have all been trying to squeeze in as much time with him as possible before he leaves for Quantico on Saturday, but it does not feel like enough. I have always been the strong one in my family, but this is becoming one of those situations where I do not think I can be as strong as everyone expects. I want to find the courage in order to stay strong, both for myself and my family, throughout what is sure to be a life changing experience.
Another reason why I feel that courage is important is because I currently lack the courage to believe that everything is going to be okay. I used to be such a optimist when it came to just about anything, and I was never one to worry about what the future would hold. Even upon graduating from college, when most people are worried sick about where to go from there, I knew where I was headed. I knew that I would be at J. Sarg and I knew that for the next two years of my life I wouldn’t have any worries about what to do. However, now that those two years are slowly drawing to a close I am completely lost as to what to do with myself and my life. I have ideas of where I’d like to be, and who I’d like to have next me, however, I am having a hard time accepting that things will work out for the best.
So that is why I think that finding courage is the most important thing for me to do. I need it in order to stay strong while Ashley is gone; and I need to have the courage to believe that everything will be okay.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Virtues
My 12 Virtues (I hope I did this right...)
1. Courage: To stay strong for both myself and my family through the hard months ahead.
2. Forgiveness: To forgive the people who have harmed me; to not hold grudges.
3. Thankfulness: To be thankful for all the good things and people that I have in my life.
4. Charity: To donate myself and my time to help those less fortunate.
5. Happiness: To try and stay both positive and happy throughout the next few months.
6. Honor: To honor my parents and all that they do; my friends and everything that they do; my brother and other soldiers who risk their lives for us.
7. Patience: To be patient and not rush through everything.
8. Enthusiasm: To stay enthusiastic about the months ahead, and all that might happen during them.
9. Balance: To keep balance between school, work, family, and friends.
10. Respect: To respect myself and the people around me.
11. Honesty: To be honest not only with the people around me, but also with myself.
12. Kindness: To be kind to those around me, even those who I do not know.
1. Courage: To stay strong for both myself and my family through the hard months ahead.
2. Forgiveness: To forgive the people who have harmed me; to not hold grudges.
3. Thankfulness: To be thankful for all the good things and people that I have in my life.
4. Charity: To donate myself and my time to help those less fortunate.
5. Happiness: To try and stay both positive and happy throughout the next few months.
6. Honor: To honor my parents and all that they do; my friends and everything that they do; my brother and other soldiers who risk their lives for us.
7. Patience: To be patient and not rush through everything.
8. Enthusiasm: To stay enthusiastic about the months ahead, and all that might happen during them.
9. Balance: To keep balance between school, work, family, and friends.
10. Respect: To respect myself and the people around me.
11. Honesty: To be honest not only with the people around me, but also with myself.
12. Kindness: To be kind to those around me, even those who I do not know.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
An Early Christmas
http://www.clickondetroit.com/news/21522646/detail.html
I'm gonna send one. Will you?
I'm gonna send one. Will you?
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Reflections
One of the most important things that I have learned over the past few weeks is that I need to put more effort into posting on this site and getting my assignments done on time. I feel as though the reason I haven't been able to update as much as I'd like is because I find some of the topics for post hard to understand and uninteresting. I have a hard time sitting down and writing about things when I don't think they are interesting or are going to benefit me in the long run. I'm trying to overcome this obstacle, but as you can see, it isn't working very well. I haven't been keeping up with the weekly reflections but I have learned a lot of things from the posts that I have written over the past few weeks. In my "Welcome To America" post I learned to think about this country and what makes us unique in a totally different way. I started to see that the things that we often take for granted are what truely makes us such a great nation. The "Ideal Me" post taught me to look at myself in new ways. It made me think back to the things that are special to me and help to make me, me. In the "Living the Ideal Life" post I also learned some things about myself and I started to really think about what's important to me. My post about feeling something "Sublime" made me look back on one of the greatest years of my life and smile. When I was living thru my senior year I took a lot of things for granted: my friends, my teachers, how easy school was; and looking back on it now I realize how amazing of a year it really was and I often find myself looking back on that year and wishing I could relive every moment of it. Writing about it helped to teach me not to take things for granted as much as I used to. In my "Nature Walk" post I realized how much at ease I truely feel when in the outdoors, surrounded by nature and fresh air.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Nature Walk
Over the past week I have gone on two nature walks. One of which took place at Belle Isle with Savannah and the other one of which took place on the JMU campus with two of my best-friends: Alana and Darryl. On both walks I got to see some very pretty things, all of which were made prettier by the soft colors of fall.
I have always been an “outdoorsy” girl, and when the weather is nice (and a lot of times even when it isn’t) you will find me outside. I’m not sure what it is about the outdoors that makes so happy, but does. Whether I’m running in the cool, early morning of fall, hiking in the George Washington National Forest on a nice spring day, swimming under the hot sun on a summer afternoon, or sitting on the front porch swing under blankets, drinking hot chocolate and laughing with friends, I’m always much happier when outside. I feel a peace that I find it hard to achieve anywhere else. I go outside when I need to think, or when I need a break from the mounds of homework that seem to consume my life these days. I exercise outside, do my homework outside, and often spend time with loved ones out under the warm sun.
I feel most at peace in two specific places: the mountains and near water of any kind. I’m not sure why the mountains have always made me feel at peace, but they have. I love to be in the mountains; regardless of whether or not I’m hiking and camping, just driving around, or visiting a national monument. When near the water I always feel at peace and extremely relaxed. It doesn’t matter if its an ocean, a river or lake, or a simple little creek; it always has the simple ability to make me extremely relaxed.
On my walk at Belle Isle I was by the water, and felt more relaxed than I had in weeks. The James River is one of my favorite places and I think it is so neat to have such a beautiful thing so close to home. When I went on my walk at JMU I was in the mountains. The air was so crisp and fresh, and even though it was freezing I felt more free and at peace than I had in a long time.
I have always been an “outdoorsy” girl, and when the weather is nice (and a lot of times even when it isn’t) you will find me outside. I’m not sure what it is about the outdoors that makes so happy, but does. Whether I’m running in the cool, early morning of fall, hiking in the George Washington National Forest on a nice spring day, swimming under the hot sun on a summer afternoon, or sitting on the front porch swing under blankets, drinking hot chocolate and laughing with friends, I’m always much happier when outside. I feel a peace that I find it hard to achieve anywhere else. I go outside when I need to think, or when I need a break from the mounds of homework that seem to consume my life these days. I exercise outside, do my homework outside, and often spend time with loved ones out under the warm sun.
I feel most at peace in two specific places: the mountains and near water of any kind. I’m not sure why the mountains have always made me feel at peace, but they have. I love to be in the mountains; regardless of whether or not I’m hiking and camping, just driving around, or visiting a national monument. When near the water I always feel at peace and extremely relaxed. It doesn’t matter if its an ocean, a river or lake, or a simple little creek; it always has the simple ability to make me extremely relaxed.
On my walk at Belle Isle I was by the water, and felt more relaxed than I had in weeks. The James River is one of my favorite places and I think it is so neat to have such a beautiful thing so close to home. When I went on my walk at JMU I was in the mountains. The air was so crisp and fresh, and even though it was freezing I felt more free and at peace than I had in a long time.
Monday, October 5, 2009
Sublime
When thinking of what to write for this week’s topic “feeling the sublime” I was a little concerned that I had never felt anything that could account for this, but after reading a few other people’s posts I decided that instead of having to write about something scary or horrifying, I could write about something joyful, something that made me so overwhelmingly happy and free.
My senior year in high school I was a member of my school’s yearbook staff. Now I’m sure you’re thinking that this can’t possibly be exciting, at all, and could be nowhere near to sublime, but wait, it gets better. I had been on the yearbook staff the previous year, but my senior year, I was a veteran. I had pull, and experience, I knew what worked and what didn’t. I hadn’t been there as long as my friend Stacey (who had a year on me), but I was one of only 6 returning members, so those 6 of us were in charge. We had lost the teacher we had had the year before to another job and we were all skeptical and frightened of who the new teacher could possibly be. I remember sitting in that dusty, cluttered classroom at 11:47am waiting for the new teacher to arrive and our fate to be decided. The room was full of new kids, quiet and reserved, all seated in the back, almost scared to death of the 6 of us that had formed an unbreakable bond with each other the year before. I was surrounded in the front by the rest of the veterans, and a few senior friends of mine that had decided to give the class a shot. Ten minutes after meeting the new teacher half the class wanted to quit, starting with the 6 of us that had already dedicated a year of our lives (two in Stacey’s case) to the cause, and we weren’t ready to just throw away all our hard work for nothing.
Okay okay, so now I’ll get to the point of the story…
We worked hard; harder than I’ve ever worked my entire life. We came to school two hours early, stayed four hours late; ate vending machine food and had Pete (our faithful night-shift janitor) “leave the lights on for us” on more than one occasion. We took over the floors of the hallway with our ladders and spreads, and massive amounts of other school’s yearbooks. There were lots of second period Physics classes spent rushing through my assignments so that I could get to the yearbook room and work. Many a seventh period AP-Honors British Literature class skipped in order to make a deadline, many a lunch spent eating a slice of pizza in between moving pictures and rewriting quotes. Every teacher at Hermitage High School hated us by the first semester was over, if not because we were often seen dancing in the halls to “Cyclone” in the middle of fifth period (who knew that was a distraction to World History I and US Government?) or from yanking kids out of class because we needed a quote, a picture, or just needed something. We fought with ourselves, and oh man did we fight with each other?! There were doors slammed, things broken, and tears were cried. But through all of it, we never stopped working. By the end of the year, we were like one big family (or at least most of us were) and there wasn’t much we weren’t capable of doing, as long as we worked together. We stayed up late, had group lunches, and even travelled to the Columbia Scholastic Press Association’s annual yearbook conference at Columbia University in New York City. For a few of us on the trip it was our first time flying, and for some, their first time in New York. Many new friendships were formed, some were broken, but in the end we conquered what everyone else had said was impossible: taking a staff of 6 veterans, 13 newcomers, and a teacher who had never done this before, and turning them into a staff. A staff who overcame all of our differences, though it took up until a few days before the final proofs were sent in to do so, and who produced a book that no one thought they could.
The sublime part of this story: the day of reckoning, fee night the following year: the day our yearbooks were released. When I opened the book for the first time I felt an overwhelming rush of emotion. Not only because it was my SENIOR yearbook, but also because I knew that I had helped make this. I had put in hours of hard work, sweat, and tears into that book. I had fought with friends, I had grown closer to friends, I had done things I told myself I would never do. I was ecstatic with the end result, and was so proud of myself and my fellow staff members that it was probably scary. I felt free. Free because for once in my life I had something tangible to hold in front of myself that showed that I had done a good job. Something that meant more than a goal in soccer, would be seen by more people than my 3rd grade report grade that contained all A’s, and did a wonderful job of summing up the best year of life I had experienced thus far.
My senior year in high school I was a member of my school’s yearbook staff. Now I’m sure you’re thinking that this can’t possibly be exciting, at all, and could be nowhere near to sublime, but wait, it gets better. I had been on the yearbook staff the previous year, but my senior year, I was a veteran. I had pull, and experience, I knew what worked and what didn’t. I hadn’t been there as long as my friend Stacey (who had a year on me), but I was one of only 6 returning members, so those 6 of us were in charge. We had lost the teacher we had had the year before to another job and we were all skeptical and frightened of who the new teacher could possibly be. I remember sitting in that dusty, cluttered classroom at 11:47am waiting for the new teacher to arrive and our fate to be decided. The room was full of new kids, quiet and reserved, all seated in the back, almost scared to death of the 6 of us that had formed an unbreakable bond with each other the year before. I was surrounded in the front by the rest of the veterans, and a few senior friends of mine that had decided to give the class a shot. Ten minutes after meeting the new teacher half the class wanted to quit, starting with the 6 of us that had already dedicated a year of our lives (two in Stacey’s case) to the cause, and we weren’t ready to just throw away all our hard work for nothing.
Okay okay, so now I’ll get to the point of the story…
We worked hard; harder than I’ve ever worked my entire life. We came to school two hours early, stayed four hours late; ate vending machine food and had Pete (our faithful night-shift janitor) “leave the lights on for us” on more than one occasion. We took over the floors of the hallway with our ladders and spreads, and massive amounts of other school’s yearbooks. There were lots of second period Physics classes spent rushing through my assignments so that I could get to the yearbook room and work. Many a seventh period AP-Honors British Literature class skipped in order to make a deadline, many a lunch spent eating a slice of pizza in between moving pictures and rewriting quotes. Every teacher at Hermitage High School hated us by the first semester was over, if not because we were often seen dancing in the halls to “Cyclone” in the middle of fifth period (who knew that was a distraction to World History I and US Government?) or from yanking kids out of class because we needed a quote, a picture, or just needed something. We fought with ourselves, and oh man did we fight with each other?! There were doors slammed, things broken, and tears were cried. But through all of it, we never stopped working. By the end of the year, we were like one big family (or at least most of us were) and there wasn’t much we weren’t capable of doing, as long as we worked together. We stayed up late, had group lunches, and even travelled to the Columbia Scholastic Press Association’s annual yearbook conference at Columbia University in New York City. For a few of us on the trip it was our first time flying, and for some, their first time in New York. Many new friendships were formed, some were broken, but in the end we conquered what everyone else had said was impossible: taking a staff of 6 veterans, 13 newcomers, and a teacher who had never done this before, and turning them into a staff. A staff who overcame all of our differences, though it took up until a few days before the final proofs were sent in to do so, and who produced a book that no one thought they could.
The sublime part of this story: the day of reckoning, fee night the following year: the day our yearbooks were released. When I opened the book for the first time I felt an overwhelming rush of emotion. Not only because it was my SENIOR yearbook, but also because I knew that I had helped make this. I had put in hours of hard work, sweat, and tears into that book. I had fought with friends, I had grown closer to friends, I had done things I told myself I would never do. I was ecstatic with the end result, and was so proud of myself and my fellow staff members that it was probably scary. I felt free. Free because for once in my life I had something tangible to hold in front of myself that showed that I had done a good job. Something that meant more than a goal in soccer, would be seen by more people than my 3rd grade report grade that contained all A’s, and did a wonderful job of summing up the best year of life I had experienced thus far.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Living the "ideal life"
To me, living a full life means living a life that you are happy with having. You don’t have to have a lot of money, a fancy car, a big house, a glamorous job, three college degrees, and the perfect little family to achieve that (although, for some people, that is exactly what makes them happy). When I think about living a life that you are happy with, a life that you are proud of, I often think of my dad and the life that he has lived. Through his life experiences he has taught me that it does not necessarily matter how high up you live your life, but how high up you hold your head while living it. The reason that my dad comes across as a perfect example to me is because he has not exactly lived the most “glamorous” life. He has many obstacles and challenges, has fallen to the bottom and turned right around gotten right back up. He lost his dad when he was only 8 years old and his mother was forced to go back to work in order to support four young children. He worked hard in school, but ultimately wound up dropping out in order to work full time and spend time with his friends. He and my mom married young, and before they were even 20 years old they were on the own. My dad continued to work his butt off in order to support him and my mom, and eventually, me. Even though he sometimes regrets that he never finished high school, went to college and got a degree, and then got, what society calls, a “real job”, he is very happy with what he has in life. We’ve never done really had to do without, we’ve always had a roof over our heads, food on our plates, clothes on our backs, and a little extra money on the side to travel and do things we wanted to do. My dad has taught me a lot of things in my short life, but the greatest thing that he has taught me was that as long as you’re happy with the life your living; you’re on the right track
With that being said, I wish to follow the example he has been providing me with since the day I was born. I want to live a life that I will be happy with, one that I will be proud of and will want to one day share with people. The life that I am living now is a little off track from what I think ideal would be for me, but that’s okay, because I have learned, that sometimes you have to get pushed off the tracks in order to realize that you were going in the wrong direction in the first place. I have made a lot of wrong decisions in my life; I’ve also made a lot of right ones. I have hurt people and I have been hurt. I (especially over the past year) have faced a lot of obstacles: some of which I pushed to the side and ignored, some I am still fighting with to this day, and some that I have overcome.
One of the biggest obstacles I have faced was how to get through the death of my grandmother in early March of this year. She had been sick since October of 2007 and she should have been dead a good four months before she left us. One of the reasons that this was hard was not only was she my grandmother, but she was also my best-friend and I loved her more than anything in this world. She never worked a day in her life, so she considered taking care of her 10 grand-children and 10 great-grand-children, her job; and that’s exactly what she did. She baby sat me when I was younger, she came to most, if not all, of my soccer games. She was there every Thanksgiving, every Christmas and Easter; she showed up at every birthday party, sent a card every Halloween, and called on every Valentine’s Day. She never missed a beat. She sat through the long nights of no sleep, listened to every wild dream, cooked many a grilled cheese sandwich, and spent many an hour playing board games with me. I could tell her anything and everything, and I did. She was the one person who never gave up on me, she’s the one who convinced me that it wasn’t crazy to want to be a pilot when everyone else just shook their heads, and when I wanted to be a marine biologist she bought me a bunch of plastic sea animals and told me it was start. Now that she’s no long here I’ve had to go through an Easter without her famous mashed potatoes, a Mother’s Day on which I avoided the card section at all costs, a birthday with no 8am wake-up call, and a family reunion full of good food and amazing company; all without her. I struggle with it a lot more than people think (cause I’ve always been the strong one), and every time something amazing in my life happens I have to stop myself from picking up the phone and calling her.
Even though I’ve had to fight through obstacle, and many others, it has made me a stronger person. I’ve learned that in order to help me be happy I have to do whatever it takes to keep the people who make me happy in my life. I’ve learned to not take things for granted. But most importantly, I have learned to never give up. No matter what it is, I’ve learned to keep my head high and just keep moving on.
With that being said, I wish to follow the example he has been providing me with since the day I was born. I want to live a life that I will be happy with, one that I will be proud of and will want to one day share with people. The life that I am living now is a little off track from what I think ideal would be for me, but that’s okay, because I have learned, that sometimes you have to get pushed off the tracks in order to realize that you were going in the wrong direction in the first place. I have made a lot of wrong decisions in my life; I’ve also made a lot of right ones. I have hurt people and I have been hurt. I (especially over the past year) have faced a lot of obstacles: some of which I pushed to the side and ignored, some I am still fighting with to this day, and some that I have overcome.
One of the biggest obstacles I have faced was how to get through the death of my grandmother in early March of this year. She had been sick since October of 2007 and she should have been dead a good four months before she left us. One of the reasons that this was hard was not only was she my grandmother, but she was also my best-friend and I loved her more than anything in this world. She never worked a day in her life, so she considered taking care of her 10 grand-children and 10 great-grand-children, her job; and that’s exactly what she did. She baby sat me when I was younger, she came to most, if not all, of my soccer games. She was there every Thanksgiving, every Christmas and Easter; she showed up at every birthday party, sent a card every Halloween, and called on every Valentine’s Day. She never missed a beat. She sat through the long nights of no sleep, listened to every wild dream, cooked many a grilled cheese sandwich, and spent many an hour playing board games with me. I could tell her anything and everything, and I did. She was the one person who never gave up on me, she’s the one who convinced me that it wasn’t crazy to want to be a pilot when everyone else just shook their heads, and when I wanted to be a marine biologist she bought me a bunch of plastic sea animals and told me it was start. Now that she’s no long here I’ve had to go through an Easter without her famous mashed potatoes, a Mother’s Day on which I avoided the card section at all costs, a birthday with no 8am wake-up call, and a family reunion full of good food and amazing company; all without her. I struggle with it a lot more than people think (cause I’ve always been the strong one), and every time something amazing in my life happens I have to stop myself from picking up the phone and calling her.
Even though I’ve had to fight through obstacle, and many others, it has made me a stronger person. I’ve learned that in order to help me be happy I have to do whatever it takes to keep the people who make me happy in my life. I’ve learned to not take things for granted. But most importantly, I have learned to never give up. No matter what it is, I’ve learned to keep my head high and just keep moving on.
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